Sunday, August 25, 2013

The only thing between my butt and the sky is sunshine

On Monday night I took the ferry over and met Jeannette in Woods Hole. When we got back to the house we ate dinner with Dan and then Jeannette and I walked the tennis ball walk to the pond. We wrapped ourselves up in our big fluffy blanket and split a bottle of sake and took off all our clothes and went in the luminescence and cuddled. It started raining on us and we couldn't really figure out what was going on except for that it definitely was not not raining. 

On Tuesday we went to Menemsha and bought five pounds of mussels for five dollars off a fishing boat that had just come into the docks. We walked down the jetty and made friends with a fisherman and looked at all the fish and put our feet in the water. Then we went to the ocean and swam and lounged around naked. That's when I had to fend off that dude with the ipad. We stayed until sunset and watched the sun set over the ocean and turned around to see the full moon rising over the dunes. Everything is beautiful and life is perfect and good. We went home and made seafood paella and ate it and then walked through the woods to the pond in the moonlight. The moon was so bright. We wrapped ourselves in our blanket again and took a little nap before hiking back out. 

On Wednesday Jeannette slept until one. I spent the morning sitting on the back ramp with Sophie drinking dandelion coffee and reading Prodigal Summer. Sophie dug a big hole. When Jeannette woke up we went to the cliffs and to the lighthouse. Then we went to Lobsterville and explored around for horseshoe crabs and worm mucus and crabs and octopus eggs. We spent a long time being mudfish just laying naked in the shallow water and looking at the birds and the fish and the landscape. When we went home Jeannette made an amazing mussel curry. When that was done we built a bonfire at the ocean and watched the full moon rise again. We went on a moonlight beach walk and drank vodka and drew with charcoal on rocks and wrapped ourselves in our blanket again. When Dan found us we had fallen asleep but the fire was still going. 

On Thursday we had to clean and pack but there was also time for us to go to the ocean. We went on a nice long naked beach walk and looked at all of the seaweed and saw so many ospreys flying around. We found a beautiful clay river and peed in the most beautiful pee spot. Then we went to the boat only to find that Dan went to the wrong port, so Jeannette and I walked onto the boat and made our connection to the bus on the other side. We met Khadijah at South Station and Minh picked us up and drove us home to Jeannette's birthday party. When Martha walked in Luna greeted her at the door and then she found us smoking in the kitchen. We partied with Rosie and all her friends and KK and Dan. It was Rosie's last night before college. We sang happy birthday to Jeannette and then everyone sang happy birthday to KK. Jeannette and Minh and I had the best time on the trampoline where we played Who's Foot Is This and then went inside and all made an herbal first aid kit for Rosie for college. 

On Friday we dropped Khadijah at the T and went to Minh's house for a second before heading off to show Jeannette Boston. We went to my old neighborhood in JP and then into Boston. We had a bit of a phone emergency but it all worked out thanks to some payphone magic. We met Minh for lunch and then went back to head out for Southold. I took the most amazing nap on Jeannette's lap on the boat with her just stroking my hair and covering me up exactly when I needed it. When we got to Southold we checked out the beach and then went to cocktail hour. After cocktail hour and dinner we went naked stargazing on the beach. We saw three shooting stars and went in the water and everything was perfect. We slept in a tent right up next to the cliff on the bocce ball court, but the tent only had one tent pole so we had to string it up to the trees. We called it our palace and it was also perfect. People who think camping has to be uncomfortable are wrong.

Saturday was Jeannette's birthday. We went to the Anti-Bias picnic and then went sailing with KK and Uncle Ed and Uncle Mike and Grandfather. After sailing Jeannette and I went swimming at sunset. We swam out to the big rock and climbed up on it and watched the water and the sky change colors. When we got back up it was cocktail hour again. Grandfather and Uncle Ed found a brand new sail that they needed and didn't know they had and were freaking out about it. It is because magic is real. We had another amazing dinner. After dinner we got all cozy in the tent for a while but then decided to go on an adventure. We had a tickle fight on the rope swing and explored the barn where Jeannette got a birthday present from Beyond (The Bean Trees) and then we sat in the big wicker chair and I read to Jeannette from this farming book for kids that I found. It was amazing being in that tent with the stars all out through the roof and the insect symphony. It was amazing feeling the sensation of just knowing that you're on a cliff. The only motors we would hear would be planes, which we would watch and then see disappear and go back to just wind and insects and waves. That was last night. 

This morning we woke up and went on a tour of the property in the mule with Grandfather. He told me some things that I didn't even know before. Then we harvested mullein flowers and pokeroot berries. Nanci and Uncle Ed and KK joined us for a pokeroot ceremony on the beach. Then we made some more mussels and drank wine with everyone outside in the white chairs before having to pack up and leave. I took another amazing ferry nap with Jeannette and then we had to drive her to the airport. 

It was the most amazing week. Awe and glory and wonder and reverence. Jeannette and I were both amazed the whole time at how good things are. And even though it's over now and Jeannette is flying back to LA, it happened and it was perfect and that will always be how I spent August 19-25 2013. Life is good. 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Live Free or Die

I've been reading Herbal Rituals because Daniela told me to. My plan is to read each month's chapter and only that chapter at the beginning of each month until I get through the year. I read August's chapter while we were in New Hampshire.

August in New England means kayaking on the lake to blueberry bushes and finding more blueberries than you can eat, so you go back and get your friends and pick wild blueberries until you've got two jars full, and then you all work together to make a gluten-free pie with lots of pistachios in the crust and split the whole thing three ways on the dock at sunset. 
                                        

It means a lot of skinny dipping. It means taking off all your clothes and going in the water whenever you want to, under cover of darkness and liquor or sober in the morning, and leaping off the dock and not even caring if people see. Because like, yeah my body doesn't look exactly like the bodies of those girls in the media or like those girls that walk around looking like them, but that doesn't mean it isn't perfect.



I feel somewhat like my youth is slipping away. I don't think I'm an adult yet, but I will be one soon. It's nice in some ways. We can drink fancy delicious infused alcohols and make legit food and get everyone home on time, and that's nice, but I don't want us to lose all our spunk. 

Summer is for dancing. I danced by myself in the sand at the side of the lake at two in the morning because nobody else would dance with me, and while I was dancing I realized I wasn't okay, in a sneaky sort of dangerous way where I was aware of what I was doing but not thinking it was a problem. It's been a lot, with everything changing and moving back to Divorce City and all. I'd been fooling myself into thinking I was fine, but I wasn't fine. Now that I've realized it I'm working on it. I think I'll be fine again soon. 

But by goddess, fine or not, I'm going to be free, and I'm going to live, and live free, and live as free and as close to myself as I possibly can.