I do have friends here. I do. I think. Or maybe I'm making friends. No, I have friends. I do. I do have friends. All I did all day was hang out with my friends, all different friends. I have friends here.
I think.
And if I don't I'm on my way to having friends. But I think I do. Maybe I'm not sure. No, I totally do. I have friends here. I have friends here.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Winter Quarter
Spring quarter is better but I still feel a little lost and confused like I have no friends here, though I suppose I do. No, I do. I do have friends here. I totally do. I think I'm just still caught in residual pain and confusion. I feel like I'm floating around and that I don't belong anywhere and that I'm not attached to anything. I still don't understand why or how this happened to me. I guess I never will. I guess all I need to do now is let it go, but I feel to wrapped up in it all to let it go. Maybe I just need time.
It's weird how much being hurt has clouded my ability to see the fun in what I'm doing. Everything should be better right now. It should be pretty good. I have friends. We do fun things together. When Father was visiting he was talking to me about how nice it is that I'm in college with good friends who are good to me and who like me and who I like. And I was thinking, am I?
But I am! I guess. I suppose. Am I?
I guess I'm still not sure. How did things go so bad this year?
It isn't all bad, though. A lot of it is good. A lot of good, like dinner parties and roller skating and power tools and baby plants and chocolate fights and snuggling.
Maybe I just need time.
It's weird how much being hurt has clouded my ability to see the fun in what I'm doing. Everything should be better right now. It should be pretty good. I have friends. We do fun things together. When Father was visiting he was talking to me about how nice it is that I'm in college with good friends who are good to me and who like me and who I like. And I was thinking, am I?
But I am! I guess. I suppose. Am I?
I guess I'm still not sure. How did things go so bad this year?
It isn't all bad, though. A lot of it is good. A lot of good, like dinner parties and roller skating and power tools and baby plants and chocolate fights and snuggling.
Maybe I just need time.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Gelato gelato gelato gelato
Oh goodness.
This is the best vacation ever. After all those awful months (well, they weren't entirely awful. but like, they were kind of awful) at school this is the most welcome dose of wonderful. I've only been here for a few days and we've already done so much and there are so many more adventures planned. Every day is full of adventures. I'm not stressed. I'm not upset. I'm happy. Really, actually happy, the kind of happy that I haven't felt for a while. I'm hoping it will stay when I go back to school. I think spring quarter will be better and maybe I can keep up this mood. But like, man. This is like a five star luxury vacation. Today we woke up early and went to the zoo. There was a baby gorilla and an owl kangaroo. There were also some cuddly penguins hanging out together in the same little penguin cave. After the zoo we took a nap and then went to Half Moon Bay where we found all the best stores. One sold baby bunnies and baby chicks and turkeys. I wanted all of them. There was also a really cool antique store and a knitting store with a stuffed knit stegosaurus. We went to the beach and saw the water and lay in the sand and buried our feet. After the beach we got dinner at one of Bej's families favorite restaurants. We got salad and baked goat cheese and enchiladas and the BEST gelato for dessert. I can't even tell you how good this gelato was. I was twitching as I ate it. It was that good.
Oh man oh man oh man and that was just today.
Yesterday we visited Grandfather and Be and that was cool because Grandfather is the coolest. We walked to the top of a hill and there was water on three sides of us and an eagle was flying low and circling around us. We actually don't know what kind of bird it was. But it was definitely eagle-like.
OH MAN OH MAN
I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME GUYS! THE BEST TIME!
This is the best vacation ever. After all those awful months (well, they weren't entirely awful. but like, they were kind of awful) at school this is the most welcome dose of wonderful. I've only been here for a few days and we've already done so much and there are so many more adventures planned. Every day is full of adventures. I'm not stressed. I'm not upset. I'm happy. Really, actually happy, the kind of happy that I haven't felt for a while. I'm hoping it will stay when I go back to school. I think spring quarter will be better and maybe I can keep up this mood. But like, man. This is like a five star luxury vacation. Today we woke up early and went to the zoo. There was a baby gorilla and an owl kangaroo. There were also some cuddly penguins hanging out together in the same little penguin cave. After the zoo we took a nap and then went to Half Moon Bay where we found all the best stores. One sold baby bunnies and baby chicks and turkeys. I wanted all of them. There was also a really cool antique store and a knitting store with a stuffed knit stegosaurus. We went to the beach and saw the water and lay in the sand and buried our feet. After the beach we got dinner at one of Bej's families favorite restaurants. We got salad and baked goat cheese and enchiladas and the BEST gelato for dessert. I can't even tell you how good this gelato was. I was twitching as I ate it. It was that good.
Oh man oh man oh man and that was just today.
Yesterday we visited Grandfather and Be and that was cool because Grandfather is the coolest. We walked to the top of a hill and there was water on three sides of us and an eagle was flying low and circling around us. We actually don't know what kind of bird it was. But it was definitely eagle-like.
OH MAN OH MAN
I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME GUYS! THE BEST TIME!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tonight
Mi and I are doing homework. Mel and Ur are doing a puzzle. La is coloring. Everybody is eating strawberries. This is the life.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Okay
There was a week of sun and it was great. I went to the beach every day with different combinations of people. I painted in the forest by myself. Everyone wore dresses and lay around in groups on the field. And it's FEBRUARY. Dresses! Without coats! In the sunshine!
Things are better. I haven't cried in a while. I made chocolates last night with Ba. I have seeds in little pots on my desk. Maybe they will grow.
Things are better. I haven't cried in a while. I made chocolates last night with Ba. I have seeds in little pots on my desk. Maybe they will grow.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Baby Sheep you little bundle of JOY!
It was a crazy morning at baby sheep yesterday!
We were at the meeting and we got a phone call from the people who live by the field where they sheep are and they said baby sheep are on the ground and so we all went out to check it out. Right now the sheep are out on pasture and if they give birth and all goes well they just do it by themselves in the field. Then when we visit and see lambs out next to the sheep we pick them up and carry them over to a little barn where we have little pens called jugs where we put a mama sheep and its babies so we can monitor them and they can bond. There were two ewes with two babies each that were all set so we moved them into the jugs and then things got crazy. There was a dead lamb way at the back of the field and then two ewes fighting over a live lamb and a hoof sticking out of one of them. We brought the lamb over to the jugs and both of the ewes followed because they both wanted it to be their baby. The babies make the cutest noises when they're being carried and the ewes follow them so intently. Good mothering instincts. We put both the ewes and one of the lambs them together in one jug and Al lubed up her hands and stuck them in the ewe and pulled out the lamb that was still inside the mama out which is no easy task. The ewe was making these horrible bellowing noises and you could tell it really hurt. Al thought it was dead but then it started breathing and we were all very excited. It was all yellow and slimey and coughing and weak but it was alive. We left that lamb with its mama and then put the other ewe and the other lamb in a different jug so everybody would get a lamb and everybody would be happy. Ala milked out the other ewe and tube fed the lamb that they were fighting over because it was little and shivery and she hadn't seen it nurse. She stuck the tube down into the lamb's stomach and kept on saying that she hoped it was the stomach and not the lungs because if it was the lungs the lamb would drown. She got it right. No drowning. Then later in the day the ewe that we were worried about had her lambs. She had been having recurring vaginal prolapses and we we had to put a harness on her to keep her vagina in but we were worried that she wouldn't be able to lamb around the harness which would kill the lambs and could kill her too. But at lunch time when they went they found her lambing and teacher Mi went and pulled her lambs and they all lived.
AHHH THE MIRACLE AND BEAUTY OF LIFE ON THE FARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were at the meeting and we got a phone call from the people who live by the field where they sheep are and they said baby sheep are on the ground and so we all went out to check it out. Right now the sheep are out on pasture and if they give birth and all goes well they just do it by themselves in the field. Then when we visit and see lambs out next to the sheep we pick them up and carry them over to a little barn where we have little pens called jugs where we put a mama sheep and its babies so we can monitor them and they can bond. There were two ewes with two babies each that were all set so we moved them into the jugs and then things got crazy. There was a dead lamb way at the back of the field and then two ewes fighting over a live lamb and a hoof sticking out of one of them. We brought the lamb over to the jugs and both of the ewes followed because they both wanted it to be their baby. The babies make the cutest noises when they're being carried and the ewes follow them so intently. Good mothering instincts. We put both the ewes and one of the lambs them together in one jug and Al lubed up her hands and stuck them in the ewe and pulled out the lamb that was still inside the mama out which is no easy task. The ewe was making these horrible bellowing noises and you could tell it really hurt. Al thought it was dead but then it started breathing and we were all very excited. It was all yellow and slimey and coughing and weak but it was alive. We left that lamb with its mama and then put the other ewe and the other lamb in a different jug so everybody would get a lamb and everybody would be happy. Ala milked out the other ewe and tube fed the lamb that they were fighting over because it was little and shivery and she hadn't seen it nurse. She stuck the tube down into the lamb's stomach and kept on saying that she hoped it was the stomach and not the lungs because if it was the lungs the lamb would drown. She got it right. No drowning. Then later in the day the ewe that we were worried about had her lambs. She had been having recurring vaginal prolapses and we we had to put a harness on her to keep her vagina in but we were worried that she wouldn't be able to lamb around the harness which would kill the lambs and could kill her too. But at lunch time when they went they found her lambing and teacher Mi went and pulled her lambs and they all lived.
AHHH THE MIRACLE AND BEAUTY OF LIFE ON THE FARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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