Mercury Retrograde

Well.

I might as well document the whirlwind of the past while before it's too far gone.

It started back in the beginning of May, when Jeannette came to visit and the hills were still green and we made a picnic and drank wine and didn't watch the sunset because she had to leave. That was just the little teaser opening.

Then I went to LA and visited her. We went camping in Malibu with Adrian and his girlfriend. It was beautiful. We drank vodka lemonade and took off our clothes and went in the water and wrapped ourselves in seaweed boas. There were pelicans and dolphins and we cuddled up in the tent with Margot and everything was good. Of course there was our ill-fated desert adventure too, but hey I got to commune with Granny Kay and feel her love for the desert. So that was cool.

Dolphins, darling.

Then Julia and Miriam came to visit. We went to the beach and went to the bar and lay in my room watching Netflix. We ate delicious seafood and made it through all the twisty cliff road without dying. We went to the Albany Bulb and found the library and had a bit of a treacherous Bay crossing. Pretty soon after Asia left and I missed her.

Next Jesse came to visit and we went to the redwoods and the ocean. It was great. We hiked to the top of a hill and I saw dolphins again but Jesse missed them every time. The sunset on the ocean is always magical. I love the friendship that I have with Jesse. We had the sort of slumber party that I haven't had in ages, where you sleep in separate beds but stay up late talking about crushes and life and stuff. Thank you Jesse.

After-school ended. It seemed like it would never end, but then it ended, and now when I look back on it it already seems so far away. They say memories block out the pain, maybe that's already at work. When I showed the kids the garden video Christian cried. Those kids. I wish I could have been a better teacher for them. I did the best I could. Already after really only two weeks of grad school I know so much more and could have done it so much better. But they don't get people who have gone to grad school. They get people like me, or who I was. I'm sorry, kids. I'll try to make things better somehow.

Let's see. Next up was the field trip to Lakes Basin. What a magical field trip. Somehow I had been thinking it was a desert field trip, but it wasn't. We were way up in the mountains with all the mountain plants and mountain rivers and mountain rocks. I harvested Aralia next to a creek. I tried asking all the plants which to harvest, and the one that called to Cathy and I came up so easily, with its root gently breaking off of another root section, giving itself to us and we didn't even have to kill the whole plant. I tinctured some of that root and made some of it into a honey. I've already eaten all my candied Aralia. I thought that maybe I should save it, but I've also been in quite the time of transition so I thought I could use some fortification. I hope I was respecting that root as much as it deserved. Anyway, then we went to the waterfall. Katie and I swam in that beautiful pool and some dragonflies had sex on my arm. I spent a long time sitting at the base of the waterfall and found gold flakes in the sand by the riverbed. That night I played banjo at the campfire in front of all the people. I had been going back and forth on whether or not to bring the banjo, since I thought if I brought it maybe I'd have to play it in front of people, but then I also thought I would miss it if I didn't play it for four days. After a bit of sitting around the campfire Kara told everyone that we had to start cleaning up, but then she told me that playing the banjo counted as work and I got to just sit there and make music for everyone who was cleaning. That's some solstice supermoon magic for you. The next day I dug up a ceanothus root that was a dragon. I mean, James really dug most of it up, but I helped. We lost my water jar and found it and lost my sunglasses and found them and lost Katie's earrings and found them. And by that I mean James found everything that was lost. We swam in a lake under the mountains and Cathy sent her healingness to a life flight helicopter that went by. The next morning we woke up before sunrise to hike to the top of a mountain. There was a time in my life where I would have been like god no worst activity ever, but that time must be past. I went slow, it was hard, the altitude was some serious business, but Max did a moxa treatment on my knee and I didn't hurt it more. When we got to the top we did our daily energy medicine and literally connected heaven and earth. On the way back we saw a bear, just like I'd dreamed we would, except in my dream it charged us. Also at some point we saw some amazing pitcher plants, all luminous and snakelike. Everything magic. James and Max and Katie and I went to the Naked Hot Springs on the way back. Amazing. Like being in the Mother's womb. I did a really great constellation for myself and learned that my jaw pain comes from the silenced screams of all my female ancestors. You know how it is.

And then Minh showed up! We went to San Francisco and saw the street art and I went to my last herb class and had the whole goodbye ceremony and came back later than intended. Whoops. And we went on a crazy hike in the rain and got absolutely soaked through. People do not let themselves get absolutely soaked through nearly enough. We learned how to make some bread and went to the ocean where we couldn't see anything but some mussels and sea anemones. Then we went all the way back up into the mountains to the Naked Hot Springs and the woman at the general store tried to get me to stay. I harvested spearmint with my teeth and we harvested mugwort in the moonlight and sagebrush! and yarrow in the sunlight and soaked.

Then I packed up all of my stuff and left California and now I don't even live there anymore.

It's weird. I'm home. I've been here for just about two weeks. Right now this is my home, it's my only home, I don't live anywhere else. I'm happy to be here. It's good to be reconnecting with everyone. It's good to have clouds and green. I'm still trying to settle in. I still feel like I'm not quite anywhere, or like I'm rattling around someplace, or like I'll be leaving in a few weeks. But Mercury retrograde will be over in five days, and maybe then I'll feel like I'm home.